There is nothing more devastating than the Death of a child.

I held a baby today, of course, it wasn’t the first time, since

I have five children of my own. 

However, it was the first time that I held a baby who had died.

His tiny body was still warm, so I thought for a moment, 

An error; this couldn’t be true. 

That perhaps he was still with us.

But as his tiny body began to cool, I knew with certainty the truth.

People say these things sometimes happen. 

There’s no explanation as to why.

I wanted to scream, “Lord, why, Lord, why”!

Who knows why God allowed these things (Death) to happen?

There is nothing more heartbreaking than the face of a mother 

whose baby has died. 

It’s not just sadness, it’s an illing memory that will never leave you.

I wanted to hold the baby’s mother, to console her, but I didn’t 

think I could reach her.

I didn’t understand why this had happened, so how could 

I help her to know! 

I grieved for her.

Confused, beaten, and teary-eyed, she sat in silence

as his once warm body began to stiffen slowly. 

Her eyes held a grief that time could not touch, AND when 

they came, she refused to let her baby go! 

She held him tight to her chest as she pleaded for more time! 

The nurses and doctor exchanged sympathies and gave her  

more minutes.

Her eyes watered as tears of sadness dropped on her 

baby’s hushed face.

I wanted to scream, “Lord, why, Lord why”! 

The nurses were extremely kind when they returned.

They carefully lifted the baby from her lap, AND

She let out a sound so deep with grief that it horrified me. 

They (the family in that tiny exam room) huddled around 

to try to comfort her. 

But how could they? 

She was no longer a MOTHER!

Her life as she knew it was no longer. 

Her life (the mother’s) will never be like it was several hours prior. 

Why did this happen?!

Maybe God needed her (the mother’s) Son as much as he 

needed her (the mother’s) grandmother long, long ago. 

Maybe God will make her Son (the mother’s) one of his Angels, 

giving him wings to help God watch over her. 

That makes sense, but then who knows?

That may be Faith, that makes sense.

Even though I could not understand, 

I needed to believe that God still cared, he still loved. 

Nobody spoke; we sadly moved. 

Not wanting to believe what we knew was true, 

we (the mother and family) pain-strickenly left the hospital.