When Caring is Misunderstood 

I recently made up my mind to stay in my lane, which basically means minding my business. This is something I thought about doing, especially when it comes to people I care about.  

I had a mammogram a couple of months ago. The test results were normal- thank God. I have been getting a mammogram since I turned forty. Statistics (per Google)do show that regular mammograms significantly reduce breast cancer mortality by up to 40%.  

A few days after I had my mammogram, I was talking to Lisa, someone I care about, about getting a mammogram. Her reaction to the idea of getting one was extremely hostile. So much so that she cut the conversation short. 

She had the same response last week when we talked about the possibility of her getting a Colonoscopy, especially since there is a family history. I didn’t understand the hostility, and I don’t understand not wanting to reduce your risk factors, but perhaps it’s not meant for me to understand. Worry about yourself, Doreen!

I do realize her response to both of the conversations we had may have come from a lack of medical information, fear, or not feeling ready. 

Sometimes, when we speak from love, it lands on some folks differently than what it was meant. Sometimes caring can feel like pressure. Sometimes concern can feel like judgment. Which was never my intention. 

Even though I was frustrated during those conversations, it doesn’t mean I should stop caring. But it’s hard when you’re coming from a place of concern, and it’s met with anger and resistance. But I’m learning that caring doesn’t always get the response we expect—and sometimes, I must manage my emotions just as much as I want others to manage their emotions and take care of themselves. 

As I end this blog, I am realizing the best thing I can do going forward is plant seeds—and trust that those seeds I plant will grow in their own time. 

Until the next Blog, Be Blessed